


Mirror, Mirror

by PonyExpress



Category: Ylvis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 05:31:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5955469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PonyExpress/pseuds/PonyExpress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Bård is attracted to his double, things start to get ugly</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Substitute

“He’s perfect!”

Vegard looked at his brother and sighed. He knew he didn’t mean for the role. He saw the shine in Bård’s eyes, heard the slightly breathless tone in his voice and he knew. Bård was smitten. 

It wasn’t like this was the first time. It was always instant with him. There was the time in school when the new boy Knut had picked him up after he slipped on some spilled juice. It was as if Vegard, who normally performed such functions, was suddenly invisible and he ended up walking home alone that day. Bård told him later about his first kiss on the fire escape stairs at the mall and Vegard didn’t tell him about the trouble he had been in with their parents for letting Bård wander off alone after school. 

There had been others, of course, but most significantly there was Calle. Vegard vividly remembered the day he first brought Calle home to practice some lines and introduced him to his younger brother. It was like seeing Bård struck by lightning. Calle licked his lips like a hungry cobra and before an hour had passed Vegard found himself practising alone while his brother and his friend shamelessly made out on his bed. He didn't mind. He was glad they got on and he liked seeing them both happy. He tried not to watch too much though because it felt weird. 

Occasionally he felt a stab of jealousy when they spent so much time together. He was used to having Bård’s full attention and indeed adoration and it was hard for him to share. But he was there when they needed to talk about taking their relationship further and offered his advice (based on largely theoretical knowledge) as a caring big brother and friend would. They tested his patience to the limit though when they broke up. Suddenly both of them wanted all of his attention again and it became a competition that he really didn't want to judge. They’d argue and have messy, angry sex (often in Vegard’s room for some reason he never quite understood) and then storm off with doors slamming and voices raised. 

But that was years ago. Now they were all adults and they’d moved on. So why did it worry him so much seeing Bård revert to a crushing teen? 

It took until they were back home in Oslo for the truth to dawn on Vegard, specifically as they met their Polish subs off their flight. The boys greeted their counterparts heartily and as Bård hugged Radoslaw, Vegard saw the filthy look Calle threw. “He knows,” Vegard thought. “He knows that look because he’s been on the receiving end of it himself.” Calle drove the SUV back to the office, his laughter too loud and forced as he caught sight of the two dark blond men exchanging glances in the back of the car. Vegard felt sick. What had they done?

Filming started outside their office building. Calle had little interest in the little version of himself, even though they were so alike. All the time his eyes were fixed to the two lanky, handsome men who were forever exchanging compliments, little smiles, finding excuses to touch each other. Calle spent as little time with them as possible, preferring to sit alone in the office, find a quiet spot to smoke or to run errands like fetching snacks and drinks. He came back from the 7 Eleven with a bag full of crisps and pepsi and found Bård sitting next to Radoslaw on the kerbside with his hand resting casually on his knee as they practised singing in Polish. He threw the crisps at the pair of them. “Assholes!”

Bård looked up, his expression full of hurt innocence and surprise. He knew Calle well enough to recognise the genuine venom in his voice. He excused himself hastily to his double and awkwardly got up and loped after his friend back inside the office. He grabbed his sleeve, earning himself a spray of Pepsi in the face for his trouble. “Hey!”

Calle glowered at him. “Fuck off, Bård! Just go and play with your new pet!”  
Stung by the bitterness in his tone, Bård wiped his face on his sleeve, turned straight round and did just that. He stalked back outside, offered his hand to his doppelgänger, helping him to his feet and then dragged him by the hand to the building, pushed him fiercely against the wall, crushing his lips to the taller man’s, who, after taking a moment to evaluate the situation, responded enthusiastically. 

Bård needed him urgently. He was done with flirting and his unexpected spat with Calle only inflamed his passion. “Come with me. Now.” He led him upstairs, two at a time and pushed him onto the pile of cushions, curtains and costumes in his office, commonly known as chaos corner and began tearing his clothes off. Radoslaw held up his hands, gesturing for Bård to slow down and he relented a little, pulling him into a tight embrace, nipping at his neck while sliding a hand up his denim-clad thigh. He curled his lip evilly as the Pole groaned and he felt the firm bulge under his hand pushing up to meet him. He casually turned to lie on top, grinding their hips together as they kissed hard and deep. Rado broke away, needing to breathe and to think straight. He struggled to find the English he needed for the situation. He hadn’t exactly packed with this in mind. 

“You have…er…condom…?” he tried. Bård pulled one out of his pocket, never taking his gaze from the beautiful flushed face beneath him. Radoslaw broke into a grin. “You were ready for this, I think!” Bård grinned in return. “And wet? You have wet also?” Bård merely smiled and went back to teasing his double’s nipple with his teeth. 

Outside Vegard found himself trying to salvage the day's filming and his friendship with Calle as well as prevent an international incident as the remaining two substitutes lost their inhibition and began to get a little too forward with the Norwegian folk trying to go about their business. The word regret seemed to be all he could think of right now. His social skills eventually pushed to the limit he sent the crew home and drove the doubles to their hotel while Calle sat next to him in the front seat, his arms folded tightly and a look on his face that could launch a nuclear attack. 

“Stay here” Vegard ordered as he took the two foreigners inside, checked them in and set up a bar tab. Calle saluted in reply.

When Vegard returned he could see tears pricking at Calle’s eyes but decided not to mention it until they reached his home. Vegard was angry and embarrassed by the whole situation and he didn’t have the right words for any of it right now. Well he had a few but they weren’t very polite and probably not very helpful either. “All right?” he ventured. Calle nodded unconvincingly and made to get out of the car, much to Vegard’s relief. Then he heaved a sigh and sat back, pushing his fringe out of his face. “I still love him, you know.” 

“I realised that this morning. I’m sorry. I should never have let Bård bring him back.”  
Calle scoffed at that. “Like we’ve ever been able to stop him once his mind’s made up!”  
“Well, yeah,” agreed Vegard, a slight smile on his lips, “but I do feel I should have tried harder. Although I didn’t realise it would be quite so hard for you.”  
“I’ll be ok. They’ll be gone in a few weeks, right? I’ll try not to make a fuss. Just keep that damn Pole out of my face!”  
Vegard sniggered, his inner schoolboy never far from the surface. Calle saw the funny side too and relaxed into a smile.


	2. Second Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can the past be put right?

A week later and there was still precious little concord at Concorde. Calle was dealing with his hurt by avoiding the Polish trio as much as possible, even though he admitted a grudging like of his mini stand in. They shared a similar humour and they would both stop at nothing for a laugh. Still where Callek went Bardek was sure to follow and where he went…yeah. Bård. 

But work was work and he was a professional. Nothing would stop him performing as if all was well with his world. Calle turned on the charm for the camera as easily as pulling on a mask - and turned it right back off again afterwards. Today’s filming was Ring på Spring and whilst in shot Calle appeared to be enjoying the fun, between takes he stood with his shoulders hunched and his gaze turned to his shoes as he scuffed them on the tarmac. 

Radoslaw walked over, hands in his pockets, his gait vaguely reminiscent of Bård’s. Calle looked up hopefully, then realised his error and looked away again.   
“I am sorry,” said Rado, his voice soft and careful. “I am very sorry you do not like me. I do not understand why and if I say something wrong I apologise. My English is not very much good.”

Calle knew he was being an arse but he couldn’t help himself. “Good enough though, apparently!”  
Radoslaw’s blank look showed his complete lack of understanding. Calle knew it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t his fault. The Polish man had done nothing wrong. He was in a strange country, barely getting by in a second language and had been seduced by Bård’s attentions - and Calle knew just how irresistible they could be. It wasn’t just about how soul crushingly beautiful he was but it was the way he could make anyone feel special by his attentive consideration, his intense concentration when you spoke and the invitation to mischief in his eyes. God he missed it! 

“No, I am sorry,” confessed Calle. “I really am. I have been very unfair. You have nothing to be sorry about. You really are welcome here and I have been blaming you for something I should have sorted out years ago.”  
The words were largely lost on Radoslaw but the intention wasn’t and he held out his hand for Calle to shake. “Friends?”  
“Friends.” repeated Calle with a firm nod. He was struck by how a man he had been so unpleasant to could be so charming. He looked up into his smiling face. Yep. He could see what Bård found so attractive about him. “Come on - shall we have coffee? You can tell me about Poland.”

Vegard looked over to the minivan as the two men poured coffee from the flask for each other, talking animatedly as they found the sugar sachets and milk carton and raised an eyebrow. His shoulders dropped slightly as he exhaled for what felt like the first time in days and let some of his own tension release. He pushed his dark curls out of his face and let a small smile creep over his face.

The rest of the day’s filming was considerably easier without the undercurrent of hostility from Calle towards the Polish party. As the sextet relaxed the humour became more natural and the resulting material was great. A little editing and it would be golden. As the sun set they wrapped up and started making plans for the evening. After a short drive back with the kit some of the crew took the Poles out to experience Oslo’s Friday nightlife while Vegard, Bård and Calle decided to order in pizza and start on a little editing. 

“That was a good day!” declared Vegard, oblivious to the uncomfortable silence between the other two. He went to fetch the pizza menu from his office, despite knowing that they would all have the same as usual and that if they wanted to they could just was easily look it up on the computer. Fighting over the menu was all part of the ritual. 

“Was it?” asked Bård, once Vegard was out of earshot.   
“Hmm?”  
“Was it a good day? I noticed you and Rado getting on a bit better today. You kissed and made up then?”   
“Well there was no kissing, but otherwise yeah, I think we’re ok.”  
“Good. He told me you were being weird with him. What the hell was that all about anyway? And that business the other day when you got angry with me? Still waiting for my apology there by the way…”  
“What happened?” Calle tone was incredulous. “What happened? You happened, you dick!”

Vegard placed his hand on the door and thought better of it, retreating to his office to just order the pizza.

“I’ve always been a dick. What in particular upset you about it now?”  
“Are you really so insensitive? Do you really not know?”   
“No. So I guess you’re going to have to spell it out for me then! What is eating you, Larsen?”

Calle threw his head back and huffed. “I can’t bear to see you two all over each other like that. It reminds me of what we used to have.”  
“Well that’s your fault, isn’t it? You finished it!”  
“You had a baby!”

Vegard called the pizza company back to cancel. However this ended, pepperoni and spicy chicken was unlikely to be needed. He put on his headphones and turned on some music. He’d find out what happened later when he was needed. 

“Yes, but that didn’t mean you had to dump me, did it?”  
“I just did what you didn’t have the balls to do!”   
“You didn’t even ask me what I wanted.”  
“You wanted a baby. You made your choice then.”

Bård hesitated before replying.   
“I would never not choose you. That sort of chose me and you made me realise I had to give you up for them.”  
“Well it seems you’ve chosen your Polish double now, doesn’t it? Tell me - what’s it like with him? Must be like getting it on with yourself! You two are so alike - pretty, charming, bastards! Does it satisfy some narcissistic desire in you?”

Calle’s face quickly reddened from the slap Bård delivered, perfectly on target and he raised a hand to rub his cheek. 

“I moved on Calle, that’s all. You hurt me and I moved on.”

Vegard heard the door slam over the music. He got up to see who, if either, was left in the office and to see what he was needed to do. It was Calle slumped over the table, his fringe flopped over his face failing to hide the tears. Vegard gently put an arm round his shoulder and held him while he let his emotions out. He never knew quite what to say but he was always there, reliable, comfortable and comforting. He cared deeply about both men and knew they would always manage to find ways to hurt each other in ways that only people who were truly intimate could. Calle buried his face in Vegard’s sweater, soothed by the familiar scent.

Bård walked out in the cool Oslo air, not really knowing where to go or what to do. He walked fast, striding out his anger and whatever else the feeling gnawing at his gut was. His footsteps took him unthinkingly into the centre and once he became aware he kept going, knowing it would be easy enough to get home. He felt he needed to be amongst people, to get lost in the crowd. He had been lonely too long. Why was Calle being such a bitch about it now he had someone to fill the void he had left?

Vegard drove Calle home, full of sympathy for his upset but also concerned about his brother. He knew he’d probably get a text from him at some inhuman hour asking to be picked up too. He never knew why he always had to be taxi driver for the pair of them but that was the way it had always been. 

Bård fired off a text to Nils, one of the crew they had been out with earlier ‘Hey! Where are you?’ and moments later the reply lit up his screen ‘Beer Palace’. 10 minutes later he slunk in through the door, hiding under the hood of his jacket. He wasn’t in the mood for drunken fans recognising him right now. He scanned the room for his guys, finding them by hearing some enthusiastic Polish singing from the far corner. He weaved his way through the crowd and inserted himself into the group, earning a wide smile and a clap on the back from Radoslaw. Bård slid his arm around his waist and spoke in his ear “Let’s get out of here”. Rado gave a quick farewell to the group and allowed himself to be led away. The men left the warmth and conviviality of the bar and as the cold night air hit him, so did the realisation of what that other feeling had been that was bothering Bård. Dammit all! Calle was right. He was getting off on the idea of fucking his double, a man similar in looks, temperament and charm. But was that really so hard to understand? Calle was pretty similar too and their personalities meshed so well. He nestled into his partner's side and reached up to kiss his neck.

Vegard lay on his sofa playing some shoot em up game on the playstation - he didn’t much care what it was - waiting for the text. Bård would always text, usually for a lift but sometimes jus tot let him know he was ok. Either way there was no point in trying to sleep yet. Just as he failed a mission for the 4th time his phone buzzed with the expected message. Vegard tossed the controller away and yawned.

He found his brother easily. Once he knew which street he was on, Vegard instinctively knew where he would stand and he barely even had to stop for his younger brother to climb in. “Earn much tonight then?”   
“Shut up, idiot.”  
Vegard started driving and it was barely moments before his brother’s confession came tumbling out.   
“Vegard, I fucked up.”  
“Yeah I know. I had to drive Calle home too,” said Vegard pointedly.  
“That’s not what I mean. Well it is, but I don’t mean tonight. I should never have let him go. Why didn’t I recognise what he was doing?”  
Vegard caught up quickly.  
“Because you were both a pair of immature idiots who both thought you were doing the right thing? Or possibly just because you can’t keep it in your pants?”   
“Both probably,” laughed Bård “Although I did tonight.”  
Vegard looked mildly surprised.  
“Did I pick up your double instead?” He poked him to make sure, earning himself a slap round the head.  
“Let’s not talk about him right now. I feel really bad about letting him down. I got him all fired up then realised I couldn’t do it. I literally had his dick in my hand, Vegard…” “All right, spare me the lurid details!”  
“I could only think about Calle. He’s always been the one.”  
“Funny that. He said the same about you.”  
“Vegard,” asked Bård in a small voice, “Can I stay with you this weekend?”  
Vegard flipped the indicator to turn left instead of right at the lights.

Calle, determined to make up for his horrible behaviour, invited Radoslaw over on Saturday to watch football on tv. He was busy covering every inch of the coffee table with beer and snacks when the doorbell rang. He opened the door to find his Polish guest with more beers in hand and a big smile on his face. He looked great too in his loose black t shirt and well fitting jeans. The denim jacket casually slung over his shoulder made him look like a catalogue model. Calle stopped his mind from wandering for long enough to remember his manners and invite the man in.

The men settled in for the afternoon, enjoying each other’s humour as they relaxed with their feet stretched out and almost lying on the sofa, communicating in terrible English, crude signs and lots of animated pointing at the tv. Two goals and several beers later, talk turned from casual chat about football players, the Polish entertainment industry and who made the best lager to Bård and Radoslaw’s relationship. Calle attempted another awkward apology but Rado interrupted him.   
“Bård and me. We finish. No more.”  
“What happened? I thought you were both enjoying each other?” Calle wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to know.   
“Make you sad. Nobody want.”  
Calle turned in surprise to look into Rado’s sincere, steady gaze. He’d only ever known one other person who could be so gracious and selfless and he’d already let him go. He leaned across and rested his head on the tall man’s shoulder. 

Monday morning came and the brothers set off for the office together. Bård bought flowers on the way - lilies for Radoslaw as an apology and blue irises for Calle. “I’m going to make it right with Calle, Vegard. I can provide for my kids as well as affording a new home for the two of us. I don’t even live with them any more anyway. Things are so different now I know we can start again. There’s nothing to keep us apart any more. I just need him to know how sorry I am.” Vegard didn’t reply, leaving Bård’s words to freeze in the cold air. 

In the office they took their coats and gloves off and spotted the Polish boys and Calle all hunched over a laptop by the coffee machine. Calle punched the air with a small “yes!” and the others cheered. Bård and Vegard threw each other a questioning look and went straight over to join the team.  
“Sup?”  
The atmosphere cooled quickly.   
“Oh hi Bård. Vegard.”  
Bård held his flowers awkwardly. Vegard turned his attention to the screen - he recognised the flight comparison site.   
“I was going to tell you later but since you caught us in the act…”  
Bård frowned, his heart suddenly full of dread he couldn’t explain.   
“When the Polish guys go back home I’m going with them. Callek, Bardek and me are setting up our own show.”  
Radoslaw slid a hand round Calle’s shoulder and smiled.


End file.
